I have been in full-time ministry for 13 years. Before I started my ministry career (for lack of a better term), I had one instructor notice my goal-oriented zeal and offer a book from his personal library. That book still sits on my shelf in my office, stamped with his seal on the title page. I have Scott Pace to thank for warning me about the dangers of the ministerial success syndrome. Over the years, I have learned a great deal about contentment. In a society that teaches every person that his worth is based on what he accomplishes and how he identifies, the truth of Christian contentment brings much happiness to an otherwise stressful life.
I know all too well of the pastoral burden. We become motivated to do something we believe is from God. We push to get that thing done. We believe that, if people just pray, they will come to our conclusions. For whatever reason, the thing does not get done. People are against it. Ministry feels stagnant. For me, it was opening a youth outreach center in Willcox, AZ. The church I pastored was small and supportive at first. When it came time, I felt the congregation turn their backs on me. There I was reaching thousands of people online and inciting community excitement about a new outreach center and reaching people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and for whatever reasons (I am still not sure of them all), the congregation I thought had my back turned bitter. I am sure that part of it was that I, their pastor, seemed more interested in making progress than loving the local congregation—but I’m not really sure. Perhaps I was.
I see this need to make progress present in the lives of many fellow pastors. Sometimes, it’s difficult to say anything because zeal for the cause of the Gospel, evangelism, church-planting and revitalization, is good. In no way should any of that be discouraged. I feel that, when things don’t happen according to our plans or what we believe God is leading us to do, we experience such disappointment because our expectations were not met. We feel we have invested much in people, and for whatever reason they still don’t see things the way we do. Disappointment. That’s an interesting word. Expectations are interesting things.
Disappointment occurs when our expectations are not met. People can experience disappointment in ministry, relationships, at work, at home, in restaurants, and when trying to be entertained. Expectations are interesting because in order to have expectations, we first must feel that something must be a certain way. When we feel that something must be a certain way, we have placed great energy into defining shoulds and musts; It is easy for us to become convinced that something is God’s plan because we believe it should be. The two are not the same. What does the Scripture say?
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
How many things does God cause to work together? All things. For what outcome? Good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. We are not the ones who work together whatever it is we think needs to be done. God works all things together. If whatever it is we want to accomplish does not happen, the text tells us that it is to our good if we love God and are called according to His purpose. Our expectations mean very little. We can avoid discouragement if we know from the start that God is the one working things together, not us. We can be better pastors when we realize that it is not up to us to make progress or get things to happen. We are free to be content. We are free to serve our congregations without expectations based on what we feel or think. God’s plan does happen. He may or may not work things together to see what we think ought to be done come to pass. There is a humility to be learned, here, and a liberating contentment to rest in.
Malcontent leads to bitterness and burnout. I remember sitting in a seminary classroom at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. One instructor asked, “What is your metric to determine success in ministry?” I still have trouble answering this question because ministry is weird. We can’t measure success by numbers—either people in seats or baptisms. We can’t measure it by the number of churches planted or the number of things done in a year. We can’t measure it by the number of votes going our way or number of dollars earned or the number of clicks and views online. Ministry is different. Too often, the aforementioned metrics are the criteria by which we determine our own effectiveness as pastors. What did the Scriptures say? God is the one who works all things together, not us. So, God causes numbers or lack thereof. God causes votes to go a certain way. God is the one in charge, here. He does what He does to our good—whether we like certain outcomes or not. Sadly, when our expectations are not met, our response is often to leave because we don’t feel we are making a difference—a selfish and entitled sentiment, especially since we claim to believe in a sovereign and good God. I say that as lovingly as possible because I have been selfish and entitled in my ministry. Ministerial contentment is not something that comes easily because of the pedestal many pastors are placed upon in the current cultural paradigm. How did Paul measure his success?
In reading his letters, it is clear that his measure of success is his own faithfulness to God. He also consistently talks about coming before the congregations humbly and not with flattering speech or plans to do lofty things. Instead, look at what he says:
For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming? For you are our glory and joy (1 Thessalonians 2:19-20).
This is how Paul saw the church. Never did he abandon a congregation or think he failed because things weren’t quite right. Instead of seeing his accomplishments or ability to achieve some goal as his metric for success, he simply exulted in the people. The congregation was his hope. The congregation was his joy. The congregation was his crown of exultation. The church was Paul’s glory and joy—the gathered saints.
I find that I have wanted to do many good things in my ministry career. I have experienced disappointment when some of those things could not happen. Look at the example we have in Scripture, and see that the ministry is different from any worldly profession that measures us based on our productivity. Who is your hope and joy and crown of exultation? Is it what you are able to accomplish? Or is it simply the congregation of God? Is it numbers? Is it church votes? Or, is it the people of God?
Asking this question has drastically changed my own ministry dynamic and philosophy. It has empowered me to become a better servant and to love the congregation I serve without burdening the people with my expectations (which may or may not be good). Contentment in ministry is freeing and relaxing and creates a better environment for grace-based relationships. My father-in-law, a great mentor to me in the faith, puts it this way, “Don’t trade out something great for something good.” Planting a church may be good, but exulting in the congregation is great—and the body of Christ grows spiritually as a result.
If this is the case, our metric for success is our faithfulness to God and trust that He is truly working all things to our good and our love for the congregation. The congregation is our joy, not the other stuff. This can be difficult because it’s not really a measurable metric. We can’t chart growth. We can’t input data. People will still struggle with things even after we have invested in them. In light of this, all I can say is relax. God does not require progress reports like the world does. Remember, He is the one working all things together. Me? I’m goal-oriented. If I can’t track the growth, I get burned out just because I feel like I am spinning my wheels or wasting my time and energy—which is not the case in ministry because it is different. I have realized that my need to move forward and upward, which can be godly, often actually hurts the congregation of God because I try to force things that should not be forced. I have to learn how to relax in ministry—to stop doing too much and simply love the people without ulterior motives or agendas even if I think they are right and good.
A typical day, then, if I am a workaholic, so to speak, in the ministry (and I was) consists of me not only keeping strict office hours for study and prayer, but also carving out time for outreach, personal evangelism, and visitation. Even when at home, I would work on sermons, think about plans for the church, logisticize because we were experiencing numerical growth, design children’s programs, write podcasts and blogs, and plan big things I wanted to accomplish. I would strain myself in prayer over the plans I had and, of course, always felt it was God’s will to do the things I wanted to do—achieve things in God’s name for His kingdom. I did much. God worked it together to the good of His people. In all honesty, it was too much. I was trading something good in place of something great—simply exulting in the congregation like we see in Scripture. There is nothing wrong with doing big things (from our perspective), but God’s plan for the church is much simpler and better. I was often stressed because of church work or church people and carried the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I knew it was Christ’s burden to bear, not mine. For the sake of all that is holy, I needed to chill. I needed to learn how to not work so hard because ministry is different, the church is different—it is not a worldly pursuit. I think too many pastors try too hard to pastor and lead when they should be resting in the Christ who finished the work at Calvary. I’m not saying evangelism is bad. I think it is good. The weight of the world and the success of the kingdom does not rest on your shoulders, pastor. It rests on Jesus. Jesus is your rest.
Being goal-oriented, I need something to focus on so that I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing little or nothing in ministry because those results are largely invisible. So, I have learned to hobby. I give myself a measurable way to plan, logisticize, and do things by woodworking and crafting custom projects for other people. With my hobby, I can to track projects from start to finish and enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishing work, which we were designed to do. In my opinion, every pastor needs a hobby that is not also pastoring or preaching. He needs a way to work with his hands so he can step back and say, “It is good,” and be satisfied with his work. Pastoral ministry is often not fulfilling because we were not designed to be filled by ministry. In fact, look at the qualifications for pastoral ministry in 1 Timothy 3, and you’ll see something quite extraordinary:
It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil (1 Timothy 3:1-7).
Just assigning the character qualification of ‘gentle, hospitable, peaceable, free from the love of money,’ speaks volumes about the disposition of a pastor—someone who does not force his agenda, who is gentle with the congregation, who facilitates peace by what he does, and who is hospitable. He exults in the congregation. In essence, he is fulfilled and satisfied in life already as a prerequisite to ministry. I think the reasons are two-fold. 1) so he will not forsake the congregation God has given for him to serve. 2) so that he will not become burnt out or discouraged. This is why new believers are not to be pastors, so that they will not become conceited (thinking their plans are the plans for the church) and so fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. For any pastor, then, the ministry is not to be the preeminent thought or passion. Pastoral ministry is for those who are content and serving even without pastoring a church.
If we want joy in ministry instead of stress or unnecessary ‘church hurt,’ we will learn to be content and rest in Christ—who wants to give us that. It is possible to be happy in ministry. The sad reality is, in our zeal to do good things, we often drive the wedges that cause conflicts in the body of Christ. We shoot ourselves in the foot. We don’t realize we do it until it is too late. Our intentions are good, but we aren’t about our intentions. We are the people of Christ. He is Lord. As pastors, we can facilitate unity and maturity in our congregations. That requires our humility. When we are more about our intentions than exulting in the people, despite how good our intentions may be, I think God may stand against us and unnecessary divisions may develop in our ranks. So, brother, I invite you to consider humility and remember contentment. God is good. Let us learn, again, how to rest in Him and simply serve those He has entrusted to us.
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