Hurt is hard. I realized in the last month that it has been more than a year since I have done any serious writing. I had given up on ministry and started my own business because, frankly, I was done being hurt. At the beginning of 2023, a friend of mine (a couple, actually) told me about a position as an associate pastor at a church in Warner Robins– Green Acres Baptist Church. I shot an email to the lead pastor because multiple people told me about the position and urged me to contact the pastor. After talking with him a few times, meeting some of the ministry team, and talking with the personnel committee, there we were before the church being sworn in. I had given up on ministry, but God wasn’t done with me yet. This wonderful body of believers has provided my family with much-needed healing. The deacons are humble and knowledgeable. There is hunger in the church body for the things of God. The lead pastor cares for the spiritual and physical well-being of the church members and staff. I have a lot to be thankful for in this current season.
One mark of depression is a lack of motivation. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t motivated to do anything until I suddenly had the urge to write again. I was walking through the book of Ephesians with my students over the summer, and naturally Ephesians became the framework for my next book. Ephesians is about unity and maturity–living in a way that is different from the ways of the world. It is about dying to self and living for others like Christ did for us. Paul sets Jesus up as the example of our lives, even modeling Christian living after God’s own unconditional love.
Too often, there is a disconnect between our theology and practice. With our lips, we speak of grace but act toward others, even our brothers and sisters in the faith, completely forgetting what grace is and what God did for us by His grace. To sum up Ephesians in one sentence, God chose you unconditionally, so you choose others unconditionally. I want to invite you to join me as I continue to discover what it means to live both a satisfying and worthwhile life on this earth.
I wonder what you’ll say when I’m gone. I wonder what my life amounts to now as I breathe your air. In the grand scheme of things, did my short years matter? Did I waste them trying to gain for myself by my own ambition? Was I too critical to have made a difference? Did I ever really grow into maturity as measured by the stature of Christ? Did my life bring unity or division? Did I spend too much time fighting my brothers and sisters? Was I adding to the noise when the community was divided?
Here, from the undertaker’s carriage, I question the purpose of it all. For the first time, my eyes are opened.
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andrewpaulcannon.blog
Slain in the Spirit is the result of a series of sermons through the book of Ephesians at Green Acres Baptist Church in Warner Robins, GA–reformatted to read like a book with more expository and doctrinal comments than the sermons had. To sum up the book in one sentence–God chose us unconditionally, so we choose one another unconditionally.
Preview:
Here Lies Andrew Paul Cannon
… beloved father, friend, and pastor. His hobbies include writing, woodworking, and spending time with family. Here is a list of all the work he did for the Lord…
I wonder what you’ll say about me when I have fallen asleep.
As I write this, I am the age at which Jesus gave His life according to some (though I think it was more likely around the age of 37). I spent much of my 33 years focused on producing as much as I could. With a popular blog and the production of 2-3 books each year, I believed I affected the world for the kingdom of God. 30,000 annual readers visited my words and people bought them enough for me to continue publishing. I studied and studied and found great value in my knowledge. I always had something to do and no time to give up. Now, I pray that no one remembers what silly things I put on paper in my ignorance—but it was the American way. Jesus lived a much more obscure life than I did. Imagine that, God in the flesh never publishing a single document or achieving any notoriety at all until His fourth decade on the earth bodily. Yet, we think we are like Christ when we are recognized for doing more before we have understood the world.
I remember my prayers while in the university. God, please bless the work of my hands. Please make me a success. Please build up my ministry. I’m ready for the masses. I’m ready to advance Your kingdom. There is nothing wrong with zeal. Understand what I was asking God for, personal success. He gave it to a degree, enough for me to get a taste of slight fame as Christians all over the world began inviting me to speak to their congregations via Zoom and answer the difficult questions they had. I was even able to start a non-profit to train native church planters using technology so that we could do something better than send foreign missionaries into places that already had Christians. God gave me a taste of what I wanted…
Then He killed me.
As the dirt piled upon my sarcophagus…
andrew paul cannon 
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